2019: I've/We've Got This

There are two blog posts I am consistent and religious about completing each year. December 2018 was a rough one to right and I put off 2019 hopes/predictions for a long time. I guess I felt afraid. I've tried to keep the hopes/predictions posts happy and positive. Some part of me worries that such hopeful posts will produce hard stuff again. I know that's not the way it works, but the little girl inside me is hard to shut down sometimes.
Here we go though, in the most "rosy" way I can. We're ten days in to 2019 and I see some pretty great things, but I do see some hard things mixed in. I'll try not to focus on the difficult parts of 2019.

1. Dave Promotion: This is very likely. His supervisor and his supervisor's supervisor has encouraged him in huge ways. Some promotions recently opened up for a Senior Manager and his boss's boss already talked to the Hiring Manager about Dave. So far, the majority of these promotions are in different places like Maryland and Georgia. There are a few open locally as well. He's applying for all of them. Regardless of the outcome, the promotion will be great for Dave and our family. He works so hard and it's so great to see the recognition. Moving out of state is a strong possibility. It's scary, but exciting. More exciting than scary to me. I love a good adventure and I miss the spontaneity of youth (I recognize that this isn't true random movement, we'll have notice to make decisions and look at factors). This is the biggest thing in our lives right now. Dave's been talking to a lot of people at work to help with this decision.

2. Family Vacations: You know what I love? Family. This year we are doing two really big vacations. I mean big vacations in the idea that everyone will be there. In June we're aiming for a Tate family vacation. We're flying Lara's family out (all six) and we'll all be together for the first time in probably seven years (maybe longer). The first time in even longer without a funeral or serious illness. It will be for fun, which is weird to think about.
In the beginning of July we are going to Oregon with Dave's family, all the siblings. We're trying to make this an every other year thing. It's been so wonderful to do it in the past. It's a great opportunity to keep connections and relationships with those who are farther away.

3. Bathroom Upgrade: As a product of possible moving and getting tired of some things. We're going to be doing some small upgrades to our bathroom. It's probably not even worth mentioning, but I'm excited-so I'm going to mention it. We're going to pretty up the bathroom counters (at least in our Master Bathroom). It's had a rough few years and there's some warping left over from the previous owners. It's not too intensive because I don't want to drop hundreds of dollars on it (especially if we might be moving).

4. Cami: She's in Up with Kids until May, when she will have her final performance in "The Greatest Show". I don't know if we will do it again. She didn't love it that much. We'll probably try out a different extracurricular activity. See if we can find something she feels passionate about. She'll definitely do swim lessons again. She also gets to start orthodontic treatments. She has a narrow jaw and the dentist is worried there isn't room for all of her teeth. As a person who had a tooth grow behind the others, I would like to do that for her. We saw the orthodontist two weeks ago and we're set to start treatment on MLK Day. It's Phase 1 and should be one year. I hope that helps things come in better so we have less major work when she's older. I had adult braces and as much fun as that is (*eye roll*), I would rather she has a confident, beautiful smile as a teenager.

5. Emily: I already signed her up with Puddle Jumpers. Pre-Kindergarten for next year. Three days a week of freedom for me. ;) In the summer we will do swimming lessons for Emily too. She's really taken to them and she floats really well already. This year I would like to get her into some tumbling or something active. This girl has too much energy and passion for me to handle sometimes. Most of her big mile stones are over so I don't know if I anticipate too much in her development.

6. Social Media Break: I gave up Facebook and Instagram on New Years Day. One hour into New Years, 12:35 a.m.,someone I know posted this Top 9 thing and said that it was one her hardest years, but included three pictures from Hawaii and her running (without kids). I lost it. My jealousy can't handle that. Dave tried to talk me down, "She's not comparing her stuff to yours." and "Hard is relative. It's not a competition." Etc.That morning I woke up with some new insights. 1. I can't change people's posts, feelings, actions, or really anything about other people. 2. I can change my response and reaction. I fought myself because I don't think I can consciously choose how I react with social media. My gut response is too quick behind a digital screen. I can stop looking at it. My social media presence isn't dead. I will still post (no other looks at likes/loves or comments though), Bookstagram is okay (I like to look at books, but I don't keep scrolling and I don't get jealous of books), verification of events (book club, birthday parties, etc. Although I hope to streamline that somewhere else). Two weeks in and I see big changes in me and my family. This choice is going to change my life.

7. De-Clutter/De-Junk: This has been huge the last few weeks. Fueled by the possibility of moving, I have purged and dumped all sorts of crap including: crib mattress, baby gate, crib, high chair, blankets (an entire trunk full :O,books, toys, games, junk drawers, and sippy cups. These are starter purging, it's an on going process that will take forever. When I was growing up, my dad spent a lot of time un-employed and we didn't have a lot of money. As a product, my parents taught me to save things "just in case". Those are the things I am tossing/donating. For a lot of this stuff, just in case hasn't happened in seven years and probably won't happen for the rest of my life. If "just in case" does happen, I'll just spend the money. The majority of the junk isn't worth more than $20 (all together). I'm super proud of all the work I have done so far, but it still seems to over-power my life. It won't always be messy/disorganized.

8. Finish Editing That Book: I know. I was supposed to finish editing my book last year, but I had some stuff come up and that's going to happen sometimes. I have one more point of view character to complete and than put that characters in order. That's it. Then I'll toss it to Dave and a friend for a quick read-through. It's not that much. I can do this (especially without Facebook in my life).

9. Temple: I saved this one for last because I don't know how I feel about it. I like to keep my year hopes to things I believe in and things I truly think will happen. Whoa, whoa, I believe in the temple. I mean the endowment. I also believe in the temple covenants and blessings, but it's different when I'm going through the temple on my own. Baby steps over many years took me there last year and I know it will take me there again, but I don't know if I feel like the time is right. My family is hoping to take Mark's name through the temple end of February/beginning of March. I would like to be there for that, but it freaks me out. I wish it was more widely discussed. I understand the sacred things that happen and all that jazz, but I want a frank, "This is what will happen and you are ready. It's time." Adult decisions are so difficult sometimes. I hope to be at the temple this year. I hope to receive my endowment. I guess that's enough for now.

I think these are the big hopes and anticipations for 2019. It's a year of change, chosen change. Having control over the changes in my life feels a lot better compared to the unexpected changes from last year. I see some hard changes in the future, life never holds back on the difficult parts, but I have such a wonderful support system that I can conquer anything from unexpected deaths (cross fingers that we get a long break from anymore of that), medical issues, difficult relationships, to broken dishwashers. As a wonderful group of animated ponies once said, "You got this. We got this together."