I didn't think I would feel such self loathing at 32.
Trust and believe I have taken every action and word with other people and turned into a shot at myself.
Dr. Phil would say, "It's not about you." My brain would say, "Exactly, Dr. Phil, Michelle's such a waste of space." Sometimes I think I would like to die.
I spend last night trying to force my brain to change, to see things right.
Instead of reading my novel, I read the scriptures, searching for something to hit me and remind me of His love for me and my value. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I thought about Heavenly Father and how He would see me. I know the words and all that stuff and I can say them a million times right now, but I don't feel it.
So here I am on a Saturday morning writing this blog post to force the ugly stuff down and find the good stuff.
Maybe a long trip to the park or library later today will heal my brain
