Lessons on Happiness

I learned a lot in the last few months about relationships, family, and living my life. It's funny. I feel like I turned thirty and I'm finally starting to understand life (at least a little bit).

Four months ago i quit my job to stay home with my kids. I'm lucky to stay in contact with one of my dear friends from Myriad, Courtney. We are the same age (I think) and we love books. We used to sit across the aisle and interrupt each other randomly to talk about books. I joined a book club with her so I get to see her at least once a month.

Courtney's had a rough go the last few years with her fixer-upper house, family, and job. She's incredibly sweet and works hard at everything.

I met up with her at book club on Monday. We spoke about the big changes in her life, mainly her promotion to Assistant Clinical Data Specialtist (or something). She deserves all good things that come to her and I really feel happy for her.

I came home feeling a little self-doubt. If I was at Myriad, would I have been promoted with Courtney? Could we be working together? I loved my job because I felt like I was good at it and I made a difference. I worked hard and I felt like our finances showed the hard work. Unless I donate plasma, I don't earn a cent, but I feel like I still work hard every day. I will not receive any type of promotion where I am now.

While talking with Dave about my doubts, he tried to reassure me, "You were promoted to something really vital and important to our family." Husbands, am I right? I didn't think he understood. He's valued in his job, he's financially compensated, and promoted easily. 

Who knew that Heath Ledger or whoever, would help me figure out the truth. I found this quote on Facebook and I don't know how true or if he even said it.

There's that light bulb. Are you happy?

Was I happy when I worked full time? Kind of, but only until I came home and faced everything I left behind in my search for recognition and money. 

Am I happy at home? YES! I love my "work" as a stay at home mom. I don't have to rush out of work to see my girls again. I get to actually handle the housework. Dishes, laundry, and dinner are pretty manageable every day-I could never say that while I was working full time. 

Happy will different from person to person and situations may make things more difficult. So maybe if I don't feel happy, I need to find the happy because that's the most important part. 

Dreaming of sweet 2016

Here we are 40 days into 2016 and I haven't posted my predictions or anticipations for the year.
I ended 2015 feeling depressed, burned out and incredibly lonely. I'd like to say 2016 will be great; full of happiness and excitement- but you know, life happens.
It will hold wonderful moments , but it will be challenging.

1. Alternating Schedules: Three weeks ago Dave started a new schedule.  As a result of poor  management decisions and lay offs, he works 11am-830pm with Tuesday/Wednesday off. He gets home 20 min after the kids are in bed. Aka 3 days a week work 8 hrs making money and 6 hours trying to minimize stress, crying and life of both girls and 2 days a week I shuffle the kids through church and Saturday clean up.  By the time Dave gets home, I am nearly sleeping on the couch. Goodbye date nights out even time to watch a show together. Its awful, lonely and exhausting.
2. Preschool: Dave is taking advantage of the extra time in the morning to get Cami involved at a local preschool. She LOVES preschool. She is great with letters and numbers already, but preschool will help with structure and to help her grow. By the end of the year, she will learn so much. I hope to get her involved in some sport too. She's getting so big! 😢
3. Walking and Talking: Emily is right on target for gross motor development. She's been crawling for a while and pulls herself into standing on a few reachable furniture. She's on her way to walking very soon. She's a happy baby and doesn't say much that I can understand right now, but by the end of the year she will have some vocabulary.
4. Less one doctor, plus one: Another big  development is the removal of her helmet forever. We finally completed the helmet/shaping process. It was hard, but it was worth it. Her ratios are normal and all looks well as far as the shape off her head. I've gotten used to comments and questions about the helmet, none of which are hurtful or accusing. It's wonderful to see a much happier, albeit clumsier baby.
This year also holds a small surgery fur baby girl. The muscles in her left eyelid are loose and after her first birthday, we've got a surgery scheduled to tighten the muscles so as to not interfere with her vision in the future.
5. Genetics: Healthcare with isn't in my blood, but genetics feels like home. My job as a Genetics Patient Advocate will have ups and downs, but I don't see any big changes, promotions or layoffs in my future. I made a positive impact in the territory I work along Genetic Counselors last year and it will continue to grow. I love working with them and I love making a difference everyday.
6. Finish It: 2015 was an inspiration. I started listening to writing podcasts at work and I finished my dad's book. It's my turn. Last month I finished Part 1 of my book with four more plot lines to go. It's very rough writing, but I'm going to finish it this year-at least a draft.
7. Werk it: There have been a few years where I make goals of running races or losing "X" pounds. This year I'm not making any goals I can't guarantee. With a second kid not quite at full mobility, who is both super clumsy and cuddly; I'm not going to have the time or energy to devote to getting fit. Instead this year, I will be more active. It's a vague, but achievable goal through walks, work out programs and playing with the kids. I want my time to be valuable.
8. Extended Family: Early this year Dave's sister and brother welcomed two babies into their individual families. Stacey and Derek welcomed baby boy Beckett in January and a few weeks later Jeff and Leslie brought baby girl Isla into the family. Dave's family is growing exponentially every year, but my side will remain pretty static this year unless my baby brother makes some big plans.

This year looks boring on paper filled with the same things from past years on repeat. 2016 started on an uphill battle, let's hope we reach some great heights and catch some  breaks in our challenges.