Swim

Let's be real, sometimes things are really hard.  Sometimes little things mean the world or feels like the end of it.
Today has been really hard.  I'm not going to whine and complain about the things I struggle with.  I want to talk about the power of music.
I usually listen to podcasts at work.  If you told me five or ten years ago that I would be listening to psuedo talk radio for entertainment at work,  I would have laughed for days.  These podcasts are in no way depressing ; they are an odd collection of stories from history,  writing tips, movie reviews and audio books.
This week felt hard due to my unlisted frustrations. Twice I turned on "Pandora" at work and in less than 20 minutes,  I felt better.
One artist speaks to me more than others:Andrew McMahon.  He has a few different music projects and every one has at least one song that has held my crazy brain together.
There's "Cecilia and the Satellite" that shield to me on multiple levels as a parent and as someone s kid.
Today's song I've heard probably a hundred times from his band,  Jack's Mannequin-Swim.   It's so perfect for today.  The lyric that stuck out at grabbed my ears forcefull was "you gotta swim and swim when it hurts.... you haven't come this far too fall off the earth. "
Sometimes life isn't like stupid happy mom blogs or picture perfect moments.  Sometimes it's drifting and you are swimming to stay afloat.  In those moments, you may find what you need in a tune or a lyric.
Thanks, Andrew McMahon. Ill swim today.

Worth it moment

Yesterday was a hard day. Full time working mom with young kids burns me out.  Thursdays can be especially bad.  Emily has been teething and Cami is in full defiant,  not-listening mode.  I even sent her to time out.
Twenty minutes after bed time,  Cali
Cami starts yelling.
As usual,  her blankets are "all scrumpous".
While I'm pulling her blankets tight around her she keeps talking.
"I feel better now , mommy"
"I'm glad.  I'm sorry you had a hard time today. " I say,  thinking of the screaming, telling and 'I'm not doing that'.
"Tomorrow I can try to do better. " It's said perfectly ,  with no hesitation. "I will listen to grandma. " (she's going to my mom's for the weekend today).
I say something totally out of a book, "It's true tomorrow is a new day. "
After spending the afternoon in frustrated tears,  I needed to hear my own advice too. One day at a time.