Sorry I'm Not Sorry

Sorry I'm not sorry.
I lit Facebook on fire today. The fires will spark a debate and I'll probably de-friend some people from it.
Good!
This girl I went to high school with posted this picture of her bare stomach today on Facebook and her quest to complete some 30 day ab challenge or something.  At the end of the post she asks who will hold responsible for completing this challenge.
There are so many wrong things about this post, too many things not too light my match and step up on my soap box.
1. I've been saying for months (remember this post?) if not years how social media has become a place for people to gain validation.  My friend may not have the six pack abs of a gymnast, but it was flat and pretty defined. To me, it looked as though she wanted someone to post, "Oh, Emily, you don't need to go to the gym, look how skinny you are!" Blah Blah Blah. I will not validate or provide you fuel to make you feel better about yourself.
2. If you can't hold yourself accountable for your choices and decisions, ESPECIALLY when it comes to your body, you cannot expect anyone else to do the same.
3. The worst part about this is this girl should know better. After high school, she developed some sort of form of alopecia and her hair grows in patches. As such, she has some different haircuts that still make her look feminine but are obviously a little different. She learned to be comfortable with her lack of hair and she should understand that self worth and value are so much more than what you look like.
4. And above all, this popular circulating ecard says it all.

So I sacrificed "Emily" and told her as much. It seemed a lot more angry because my phone thinks Every Word Needs To Be Capitalized On Facebook.
So sorry I'm not sorry.
This selfish, objectification in the world is so depressing.
Emily and I both have daughters. What would Cami or "Susan" think or say if they saw this post?
Would she think that she needs public recognition for everything she does, including participation trophies?
Or that everything you do, you do it for someone else to approve or give you a virtual high five?
Maybe she will think that her value is only skin deep and a fit body is all that matters?
This is the age of social media. It will teach our children what matters and that's terrifying.

Traveling Salesmen & Second Chances

I live in a nice neighborhood and I think "No Soliciting Signs" are tacky.  They just don't match my dead lawn and weed-ridden parking strips.
This absent sign makes our house a big target for "those" people to come around. Dave works nights a lot so I get to turn away a lot of pushy, sad, or frustrated people who hate their job.
Over the last three years in this house, we've probably turned away about a hundred people and I'm not exaggerating. I did buy their product once.
When I opened the door, he smiled at me. His smile was crooked and had some old stains, but you could tell there was some recent work done. His head was shaved and his clothes a little loose. If I saw him in a different location, I probably would have assumed he was homeless. Hitched to his belt was the familiar green spray bottle of the traveling salesman.
He kept his smile and kicks the whole conversation off with, "Hello ma'am, my name is Joe. Tell me, do you believe in second chances?"
The pause was long, much longer than I was used to. I almost cried standing there at the front door, talking to salesman. I was going to buy the product and he didn't even need to sell me on it.He went on with some vague story about being a gang-banger and getting shot or something, but the details didn't really matter.
The guy went through the whole routine though, showing me the streak-free shine on my windows and cutting edge clean on my car's front headlight.  He even reverted to calling me "ma" or "mama" as Southern men are wont to do sometimes.
I'm sure he walked down the street calling me some ignorant racist white girl, but he sold the bottle of green cleaner to one person and maybe more.
I've written this post a thousand times in my head and I still don't quite known how to explain my feelings without getting too religious or pushy.
I believe in second chances. Nothing is forever. People make mistakes and sometimes these mistakes are repeated over and over again and over again beyond what seems possible. Like many people, I've made many mistakes. My mistakes are probably different than a lot of people understand. At the time, many people told me to "just stop". For me it wasn't that easy. You know what's great though about that? Screw other people, you'll figure it out on your own. It's your second  chance, your opportunity for change. Life is about action. If you sit idly and listen to all the crap people tell you about what you should do, than you don't ever figure out where you belong.
I think that's what I loved about this traveling salesman's story. Even if it's complete bull-crap, he's out there actively trying to make his life better financially. He's building a second chance of his own with his actions. He claimed the program he was in started as a rehab kinda thing to get him off the streets and then provided him the opportunity to work in sales. I'm sure these people didn't sit him down and say, "Hey, just stop selling drugs. That's it, that's all you need to be successful." He'd probably still be on the streets.
This world needs more understanding, more empowering and more tools. The power of self-reliance can change lives if it's directed in the right way. I believe in Second Chances and crappy liquid detergent from traveling salesmen.