2018 Hopes, Goals, and Predictions

Every year I like to reflect on the past year in a list with photos. I try to be accurate and real about what life for our family looks like every year in highlights. At the beginning of the year I try to see what the next year will hold for my family. They aren't necessarily resolutions because they aren't things that require a year of commitment. Many years these predictions and hopes are easy because they are things Dave and I have planned or spoke about. This year my list starts a little different.

1. Be Awkward: Okay, that's not really what I mean, but it makes you laugh right? 2017 meant big changes in my social and community outlook. I'm home more and around the neighborhood more. In society and/or my neighborhood, you avoid talking with people you know at the grocery store or around town. I'm guilty of running down the next aisle or looking fast at my phone instead of waving or saying "hi". This year I want to face the awkward encounters at public places. I will embrace it and be friendly. My dad was a master at this. When I was a kid/high school, I was so embarrassed and would tug on him to leave the store. Alongside the embarrassment, I remember him looking cashiers in the eye and asking them about their families. I saw their faces and what it meant to be recognized beyond their job. I want to see people for who they are, step outside of myself. Every once in a while, this tumbler gets passed around and this year I'm inspired by it. So what if I'm awkward and I don't know what to say. 

2.Edits and Inquiries: Last year I finished my book. You know that super hero, super nerdy book mimicking Lost and Heroes? I will finish edits this year and hopefully send out some inquiries to some editors. I would love to get published and I have a long road to go from here full of rejection, but I will stay the course and do everything I can to achieve this dream. I don't know if it will actually get published this year. Editor review, contracts, and all that jazz. To be honest, I'm still not 100% sure I know where to go with it after I'm done editing. Yay for learning.

3. Write: I have ideas for two more books and a possible sequel to the previous book in my head. I will not finish another book. I know my process takes longer than the average writer, but little by little I'm improving and getting better at writing. I hope to start another book this year..

4. Run: Maybe. This year may grant me some extra time. I would love to get back into running and do another half marathon. Now I don't know if I'll do a half this year, but I would love to get back into running again in the fall. 

5. Preschool for Emily: I can't believe I am writing this. My baby will be in preschool this fall. It feels so weird. I don't really know what that will look like for her. Emily has so much energy and imagination. I'm not sure how she will respond to the structure and focus on letters, numbers, and colors. She doesn't have the interest in those things that Cami did.

6. No More Diapers: Emily can do it this year, right? I feel like she is so close to catching on to it, if she can find the right motivation. Even now, with limited motivation from us, she occassionally uses the potty. She'll catch it this year. I think she has to for pre-school...

7. Toddler Bed: Emily has a lot of big changes this year. I imagine about the time we start really tackling potty training, we'll move her into a toddler bed. I have a feeling we won't get as lucky as we did with Cami on this one. I hope the transition goes well. We're still a few months away, so it's hard to say at this point what it will look like. Experience says my little hurricane may not understand the containment of bedtime. 

8. 1st Grade: Cami starts first grade this fall. That's another weird thing to think about. She'll be gone at school all day long (*cheers*). Kindergarten is only 2.5 hours, so I'm excited to think of her really launching into her education. In addition to kindergarten, she may be starting the ALPS program through the district (Advanced Learning Program). If she passes their exams, she'll go to an accelerated school with focus on STEM  and hands on learning. She's a smart girl and I'm not worried about her. Really, either way it works. I want the best education for her, if that is in her current school or through ALPS, I'm confident she'll do the best she can.

9. Swimming: We took a break with Cami's swim lessons during school. Honestly, it's good because who knew that school would take so much of my, I mean her time. ;)  Emily turns 3 in April and then she will be able to take swimming lessons too. I think this summer we'll start both kids in swimming lessons. It will be so great for both of them. Cami really needs to find a way to be comfortable in the water and with water on her face. It might take a few years for her to be comfortable.

10. Fenced In: We've been in our house for just about six years and this is the year we're going to finally put in a fence (hopefully). We don't have the greatest next door neighbors. I think we'll probably end up springing for it on our own. I hope the fence helps reduce the noise from their side of the property too. We're the corner lot, so our bedroom window faces their garage. Every party, coming, going, and stalling sounds like it's in our bedroom. The fence will help that, right? Let me dream.

11. Dave Active: Dave has been really sticking to this workout thing with Shaun T/T25. He does two workouts these days instead of running. The air quality is horrible and running in the ice could be painful and disastrous. He's really dedicated to this program. It's good to see him feel better and be healthier. I see him continuing this. His self motivation exceeds my own this year. :D

12. Dave Work: Dave will work in his current position for a few more months. After that he goes back to a Help Desk Supervisor-type job for businesses. One thing I see with Dave is his constant search for exceeding in his career and knowledge. At this point, he probably doesn't see much changing, but I am sure he'll find some class or some job to expand his experience and knowledge. I love how hard it works to do better. 

Choices and Faith

This post is very close to my heart. I didn't want to post it because it's so personal, but my heart tells me I need to share this experience.

When I reached adulthood, I made a lot of choices. Good and bad documented in detail through this blog. I made some choices based on my gut and what I felt like doing. Some decisions I made with serious thought and sincere prayers with Heavenly Father. He answered my prayers with "yes" or "no" or "not right now". 

Years later I come back to these decisions and I don't understand them. I think about them and I feel a lot of doubt. Why did He tell me "yes", this is really hard and I don't know what I am doing. Or why did he say "no", things would be better if it was that way now. Or why did he say "not now", I was ready then and now I'll never be ready.

While showering or getting ready for the day, I think about these internal fights of mine with old decisions. If I should change them now. It's never too late to change. Being human means you can change and fix your life to become something you want. 

Saturday while straitening my hair, I was thinking about this and getting very mad. Fighting with yourself in a schizophrenic like way can feel so frustrating. Then it hits me like a hammer. "Those answers aren't wrong. They are right and eternally correct. Your choice here is to follow Heavenly Father's plan or not. It may be hard and lonely sometimes, but His answer for you is right. He'll take care of the situation. He'll take care of you. You just need to "go where He wants you to go" and it will be fine. 

Timeline doesn't matter to Heavenly Father when there is eternity. It's forever. In the spiritual plane, it's only seconds of life. Everything follows His will and plan. 

I'm 30 years old and I'm still learning about faith. Cami and I were reading the illustrated scriptures the other day and Alma is talking about faith. To illustrate it, I covered her eyes and I said something like, "Can you see me? You know I'm here because you can hear me and you can see me. You don't know what I'm doing, but you know I'll keep you safe and I'll take care of you because I'm your mom and I love you."

Well, I need to switch those words around a big and remember. Heavenly Father's got my back. I don't need to understand the plan, timeline, or His answers. I need to act on those answers with faith. It will work out. 

The Future in 12 months or less

Day 28 of 2017 and it's already been a year with some wonderful big changes. Like every year, I like I to "predict" what the future holds for the Hunt family.
This year looks a lot shorter, but I think that's a good thing. Less trouble to get into. ;)

1. Kindergarten- Cameron starts kindergarten this year. In fact, I'm pretty sure registration is next month.  What a weird stage to be in with a kid in elementary school.

2. Community Sports- I would love to get Cameron more involved in community sports, especially swimming before we go to Bear Lake again. She's had a small fear of water that I think some classes at the community center could help. With a little confidence, she will do so much better.

3. Emily will chat it up- Emily already talks a lot, but every week she seems to pick up more words and she's started to actually converse. Useful words she picked up recently include: Need help, poop, more, milk (which sounds more like mewt). More words will make it so much easier to take care of her.

4. Dave- Hard to say what's in store for Dave careerwise.  He feels like he's where he needs to be right now, but he's always looking for new opportunities. Not necessarily a promotion, either, but somewhere that he can learn more and be more valuable to the company.
He's been really active for the past two months and we've been trying to make healthier choices. He's starting to see some great things in his health. I hope this year he feel better and it continues in the way he hopes/wants.

5. Let's Go Out-  My biggest goal this year has nothing to do with losing weight or running a marathon. This year I really want to focus on my marriage. Not that we're struggling or fighting. It's hard when you both work full-time, especially when your schedules are split and you have young children, to maintain a connection.
We rely on babysitters during the week while we work, so it's sometimes hard to find a babysitter for weekend nights too. I've started to check in with the Young Women in the ward to start paying for babysitters. It's early stages. I haven't found anyone yet, but I'm optimistic. If we can get out more than once a month, I'll be thrilled.

6. Friends- 2016 was good and bad for friends, but 2017 looks really good. Reach out a little and it comes back around. It's all about action too. I learned that last year. You can't expect people to just show up and want to be your friend. If you want a relationship/friendship, you need to put the effort into it. I have great hopes. I believe in friendships both old/new. It's important to have community/tribe in your life. Especially when things go South, it's important to have people there to help/support you.

7. Finish It-  Here it is again. I'm pretty sure I've had this on my prediction post three years in a row to finish the book. This year I can do it for real.  I only have 1.5 point of view characters left. That's nothing. Last year I did 2.5 point of view characters, so really 2017 is mine for Project Torrent.
8. College Debt Be-Gone- Dave's college debt is almost gone and our financial goal this year is to finish it off. When we first were married, we had tons of debt between the two of us and six years later we're almost free of the big ones. Quick, knock on wood before one of our cars breaks down.

9. Work Venture- I see something new and/or different for me this year.  I constantly talk about how much I love my job.  I love the relationships I've built with the providers in my territory and making a difference with cancer research (even if it is kind of indirectly). It's given me a lot of purpose and joy to solve some of the insurance problems I run into.  Helping people is so important to do every day and I'm lucky I get paid to do it.  It's really wonderful and I have a hard time seeing myself doing anything else, but 2017 brought some unexpected changes in the past few weeks. Changes in our family needs (*cough* not pregnant) mean that my job may change.

10. Temple- Oh ya, I saved this church one for last so you can skip it if you aren't into it. Almost ten years ago, I made some less than stellar choices for a boy, a boy who dumped me pretty fast. I stepped away from the LDS church for a while and was pretty unhappy. I'm not going  to tell anyone what's right or wrong, I started going back to church because it made me happy. Man, it was hard. That's another topic for another time. I've been going to church pretty solid for about 8 years. Every year I say this is the year I make it to the temple. Saying and doing are different hings.  It's so terrifying after you have made very poor choices. It's frightening to sacrifice. It's terrifying to go alone. Even with repentance, those things helped me become who I am-even as a member and they aren't going to disappear. So even though I'm crazy scared and I feel super unworthy, I'm going to do my best to go inside this year.

2017 looks pretty scary in a couple of ways. There are a lot of uncertainties about the future, that I'll try to blog about as I go. I don't really know where my family or me will be at the end of the year. I hope the changes that look so scary bring more joy. I hope more than anything that I will feel happier this year. Isn't that the greatest hope for 2017?  More joy.

2015

It's difficult to think of the year to come, 2015 looks pretty slow for our family. It's almost a full month into 2015 and it's time to just post this blog entry, with or without pictures.  Number one on the list is the biggest for our family in almost three years.

Right now, me at 29.5 weeks

1. Julia/Juliet/Julianne: First, we're narrowing in on a final name for baby girl. No secret or surprise here. This is the biggest thing of 2015 ever.  We have about 9.5 weeks before we meet her for real. It's both terrifying and exciting at the same time. I haven't made it any secret that Cami was a very difficult baby, but I have also been reassured by mothers everywhere that no baby is the same and really it can only get better.  Either way I get to look forward to another three months feeling like a balloon/punching bag, then labor/childbirth and then adjusting to EVERYTHING all over again.  We handled baby Cam pretty well, we can do this again.....right? We are a lot better off in many ways this time around and I feel like we have a better support network in our house as well. I'm excited to see her, she's going to be beautiful.

2. Family Babies: Outside of our baby, only one baby has been announced on Dave's side.  The pregnancy isn't official yet, so I don't want to give it away.  It is the only other baby on both families and the cousin closest in age to Julie. They will only be about 2.5 months apart. I'm excited. I know they are hoping for a boy, but I'm hoping for another girl cousin for Julie to play with. As seen with Cami & Anderson, they play okay together, but they still have different interests (Ghostbusters/Mario vs. Dora//Daniel Tiger). I'm willing to bet another Hunt family member will be pregnant by the end of the year. Dave's family is still growing, while the Tate side is slowing down.

3. Cami:  I'd like to think we'll conquer the "potty monster" this year, but I don't know if we will really push it with both of us working and a new baby, we'll provider her the tools/tips and she'll catch on when she's ready. "No kid ever goes on their honeymoon with diapers."

This year could be huge for Cam's growth. I think because of her expanding understanding/knowledge and the big changes our family will experience this year, she may have a rough year.  I'd like to get her involved in some learning program/preschool. I think she'll miss the deadline this year because her birthday is in October, but I'm hoping to encourage some growth on the things she already understands.

4. Let's Get Physical: Before we decided to have a baby, I was pretty active with running and working out.  At about week 6, the thought of working out in any way, shape or form made me gag. Then there was the morning sickness and as soon as that left there's been the muscle pains and Braxton Hicks contractions.  Not exactly conducive to good health/fitness.  It's January and while everyone is making goals to get fit or active. I'm setting up some distant plans.  Looks like July, I should be good to go with my activity level again. I can't wait to run, exert some sort of energy that won't send me puking or collapsing on myself. My goal is to run a 5k this year. It's a low goal, but I figure with two kids, time for running may be minimal.

Our fancy new electrical panel
in the basement

5. Basement: Our basement will be finished this year. That is so weird to say out loud. We always pushed that priority out and never expected to finish into the third year at this house.  I'm excited to paint and rearrange things downstairs. I'm really nervous to paint or do anything to the upstairs because people see it and judge the crap out of your upstairs. No one will see downstairs besides family and friends. I feel like I have a little bit more of a creative reign in the "Nerd Lair".

These are my sweet puppets
I made for a lesson

 6. CTR: At the beginning of this year, the Primary Presidency moved me up a few years. I now teach 5 & 6 year-old's and I'm very happy.  There are about 5-6 of these kids and they are amazing.  They listen really well and participate.  It's very different from Sunbeams.  2015 has had a rough start for Sharing Time. Cam is very good about going to her class, but as soon as we get to Sharing Time, she knows I'm there and REFUSES to sit with her class. It's very difficult to juggle my wound up class and Cami at the same time with her demands and expectations from "mommy".  I'll likely be released when I have the baby and hopefully she will be a little bit better when I am not within her sight range.

7. Dad's Book:  I know some people think it's ridiculous how much I talk, blog and such about my dad. I'm sure some people chalk it up to losing a parent or what-not.  One thing my dad dreamed about his whole life was publishing a book. He was insanely creative and spent a lot of his free time writing or brainstorming books.  Due to his dreams, he had file folders filled with church talks, letters, stories, ideas, etc. My mom talked about scanning it all and giving it to the family on a cd. I have much bigger plans.  I've been working on a book featuring everything my dad has ever written.  It's a long time coming and I have a goal to get it done this year. It would mean a lot to my dad, my family and me to have his dreams before us in something physical we can hold in our hands to pass down through generations.