Results

I really tried to think of something clever to put as the title, but I just don't have it in me today.
Results came back almost two weeks ago for my baby girl's choroid plexus cysts. The results were NEGATIVE, which means no genetic defect and the cysts will either go away on their own or will not affect her growth/development.
With these results and Christmas right around the corner, I looked around me and my life a few nights ago.
For the first time in my entire life I feel truly happy and content.
It's a new feeling to me, I've spent so much of my life pushing and ready for the next step (i.e. degree, marriage, family, church stuff, debt free, etc.). To say it's nice to settle into life is the biggest understatement ever! It's like my heart wants to jump out of my body and give everyone a big hug.
My life isn't perfect and a lot of times each day has it's own challenges. Some days are harder than others, but along with that, some days are really great.
Really, I am in a good place: I have a wonderful family, married to my best friend (still my best friend) and a silly three-year-old.  I have a nice house that's perfect for our family in every way.   Dave and I both have fully functioning cars and good jobs to provide for our family's needs.
Right now I would not change a thing.
I don't want a new house. I'll take our weird house with it's weird electrical and never-ending projects.
I  am happy with our cars, despite their "well-loved" exterior (that's probably just my car) and high mileage, because they keep us safe without a car payment and without too much maintenance (outside of the debacle a couple of months ago).
I'll take Dave and Cam any day and everyday over anyone and everything else.  They both love me through everything; past, present and future and nothing can change that. Even when I feel absolutely crazy with frustration or sadness, they both still love me and won't leave me. It's true family security, what I've been waiting for my whole life.
Who needs any new stuff this year, my inner-self/chi/etc. gives me the gift of joy and peace this year.

Jesus Wants Me

11/19

Amy came over last night, hugging a white 3-ring binder to her chest.

Here comes my first church calling in four years. 

My last calling was as a "indexing committee member" before Cami was born, in my single's ward. Then there was a time of working weekends. When I changed jobs, somehow I snuck underneath the calling radar (thanks to a giant ward of more than 700 people). and my passivity--then they split the ward.

Bishop called me in as a primary teacher and that was the white binder Amy was carrying so tightly. That binder held the specifics of my class.

Sunbeam-Primary 1

4-5 year olds. Someone has a sens of humor. My first calling in four years  is teaching kids brand new to Primary and Sharing Time. Kids don't generally like me. Giddy-up.

12/2

I had my first lesson experience on Sunday. 

I literally spend three days and multiple hours planning and making things for them, including some pretty sweet-looking beards.

None of the kids like singing and only one of them wore a beard. My lesson took exactly 10 minutes and after coloring for 15 minutes and a matching game my partner had.  I felt like I spent three hours with a room of Cami's. Dave's church clothes were dirty, so it was me and Cam by ourselves for the last hour.  She has been in this really rebellious toddler stage lately. We went to time-out twice in the middle of church. There's a reason we sit in the back.  It was awful. I cried a lot after church. 

It's so overwhelming, on top of every day stress of work, taking care of Cami and new baby coming. I work really hard for this calling already and it seems to be so ridiculous, like teaching cows how to fly.