September is National Suicide Prevention Month.
Utah is pretty high up in the stats of suicide. A few years ago it was was #3 in the nation. It's moved to #6, but talk of suicide is everywhere this month. I have mixed feelings about this for obvious reasons.
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| You know, my baby brother? |
I'm glad the conversation is happening, but man, it's hard.
Mark and I were close. We shared so much in common: our love for horror movies, super heroes, villains, funny things, stupid people, hiking, nature, food, etc.
Stupid things like the trailer for the new Joker movie can make me so sad. I would love to see it with him. Text him the video. Whatever.
So on the road I see those bright green Jeeps everywhere, like a nod to him. He's not driving them, but I still check sometimes. I don't even know why.
I dreamed about him three times this week. I don't remember much about them. In last night's dream we were talking about something and I woke up. I felt so stupid sad that I couldn't talk to him at that moment for real.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
Anyway, this blog isn't just a big sob,sad fest.
I'm teaching the lesson on Sunday to a bunch of teenagers. I'm not a very good scripture reader these days. So I waited to be alone this morning to try my best to get it.
Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are SO GOOD.
In 1 Corrin 15. Paul talks about the incredible experience of the resurrection. From his perspective I can see how bonkers it is. I mean Paul used to be named Saul. He was a big, fat jerk face to everyone in the church! It talks about how he changed and worked hard, but that was still a piece of him and Christ chose to come to him after the resurrection.
In verse 47-49 it says: The first man is of the earth, earthy: the second man is the Lord from heaven.48 As is the earthy, such are they also that are earthy: and as is the heavenly, such are they also that are heavenly.49 And as we have borne the image of the earthy, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly.
I mean this hit me so hard. Earth is so....'earthy' on humankind. The things we fight against and our weaknesses are all here on Earth. Before and after this life there is no 'earthy' parts of us.
That really hit me pretty hard. The 'earthy' bits of Mark were really rough. From the choices his made, to the people around him, to his thoughts, actions, relationships. So much of it was 'earthy'.
Now, there is none of that. Now there is only the 'heavenly' parts. What would those 'heavenly' parts look like?
For me it would look like sitting together, watching Saturday morning cartoons. It would look like playing Crash Bandicoot on the floor on a Playstation. Shooting hoops in the driveway. Or climbing tall trees in the yard, sliding through the kitchen in our socks. It might even look like me listening to him play "Brain Stew" by Green Day on repeat. It would looks like family hikes during vacation, or card games. It would look like his smirk, laugh, smile.
So shout from the rooftop. Everyone has 'earthy' bits that won't last forever.
Even more though: EVERYONE HAS HEAVENLY STUFF THAT WILL LAST FOREVER.
So grateful for the Savior and for the resurrection. He's the real MVP. Without Him, we would be stuck with all that 'earthy' crap. All my personal 'earthy' garbage will die too one day. How great to know that my heavenly parts will be around forever with those I love in their heavenly state.
The church is true y'all.
