So many things in my life ended in the last two days.  Today was the end of my college education.  The final paper was easier than expected and my teacher gave a lot of free point, acts of mercy to the 3/4 of seniors in the class.  I put the paper on his desk and as my fingers left the white pages, I felt a little bit fuller than normal, like when you're starving and eat a roll. The roll is not fulfilling, but it crams your stomach with more material than possible.  One more button click left until my bachelor degree, one paper submission away from ending this era of my life.
Yesterday I finished my internship at the station.  I walked out of those doors and I felt really depressed. I absolutely loved working for Clear Channel.  Working there was a good fit for me. It’s been the best experience of my entire college life.  I know what I want to do with better assurance because of my experience there. Now, the hard part is to compete with the rest of the graduated world for a job in the field I want and where I fit best.  I knocked the college experience out and now I face a much larger opponent, the economy.  I hope my right hook is strong enough to take him out.
These ends create beginnings but I'm so scared. The world is a big place.  I am one person, embarking on a future that seems to be failing. I'm going to face the world and I don't know what to do with it.  I am envious of people who have already conquered this heavy section with a job in place from their internship, a family or something that is continuing to propel them forward. What will propel me now that school is over? I think imagination could do a fine job of that.


Henry's Sick Week

Correct me if i am wrong, but my car does not deserve a sick week.  It barely does 25 mpg and breaks down on me every year.  Henry Peter needs to be put to rest.  Last Thursday, which was one of the most stressful days of my life, he quit on me. 
Autozone made me nervous with a transmission computer diagnosis, so I drove it over to their recommended place of business. Transmasters Transmission in West Valley.  Gary took all my info and assured me that all would be well with my little Stratus. 
Can't say I was feeling awesome after dropping him off, despite the reassurance.  Thanks bunches, my sweet HP for the exercise. Three miles back to my apartment and a lost work-badge later I curse your name.
Four days later, I still didn't know what was going on with my car. They couldn't duplicate the problem. I went to pick up my keys today. Gary handed them over and I asked him what I owed him. He refused to let me pay for something they couldn't figure out. Shout out to Transmasters! As men, they suck at communication by default, but the service was solid!


Two weeks: graduation and my brother!

This last week sucked worse than a Hoover vacuum trying to suck up a fluffy animal.  I keep trying to think of the end.  Class will be over next Friday and I start my new temporary job May 3rd.  Despite these sweet events, two weeks will be even better.  In two weeks, two fantastic things will happen!

1) I will finally graduate.  That's right, dreams do come true.  It only stole five years of my life and all my free time and a lot of opportunities.  The things I do to secure a solid future. The biggest waste of time ever. School is a joke kids, stay young and away from college.

2) My brother will be back from boot camp! I spent the last 20 minutes tagging all the pictures of him on his facebook profile. There was a super awkward picture of him and me. We have fun sometimes...and sometimes we're special. I love that I'm making the most ridiculous evil face ever and he's looking at me, trying not to laugh or smile. I can't wait to see him!



"Sometimes instead of words, I wish I could open my mouth and have a flock of birds fly out."
-Chris Bodily, Sketch Journal

My brother handed me an old faded comic book with thick copy printer lines.  The heavy outlines of characters and objects still sit in my mind several years later.  The characters in it were striking and we wondered what happened to that old friend from high school.  Well we found him, still creating the most thought provoking images I have ever seen. 

He has been producing a sketch journal that features artistic elements and some of his thoughts.  This quote on a flock of birds is so awesome. I wish I could examine every word and what it means. To me it's something different.

I think words can be both overrated and underrated. Often I say things and it has either been spun into a ridiculously large problem or important things have been whittled to nothing.  Words have connotation and denotation that create all sorts of crazy meanings and interpretations to the listeners. When I speak words, they can hear what they want to hear. It's almost guaranteed that the majority of my message will be missed (at least in part). I wouldn't care for a flock of birds to fly out of my mouth, my stories are already long, disjointed sections.  I would like something substantial to come out of my mouth when I speak. Substantial, so that it could not be missed or ignored--a completely honest substance that represents what I am trying to say and who I am.  

That would be epic.



Some people are very "special".  This morning I found a gast station charging a mere 2.99 per gallon...Henry (my sweet Stratus) was in desperate need of some fuel. I started filling the tank and I hear that horrible noise of an engine gagging, not turning over.
The van next to me, filled with people tried several more times without result.  I have some jump cables in my car and although I am not very adept at using them, was willing to try.
I walked over and asked them if they needed a jump.  The woman in the passenger seat was apparently the only one who spoke English and between Spanish yelling on the phone told me that she didn't know what was going on. I offered my help and she said, "I don't think that's appropriate. Thank you." 
Appropriate? Since when is helping considered inappropriate? I took it a little personal. Maybe if I spoke Spanish they would have accepted my help. Or maybe if I was a darker shade and not so flourescent white. I don't get it.
I bet these people passed me when I had a flat tire or when my engine wouldn't start in the pouring rain. It's hard not to tie those things together. Inappropriate? I think turning down legitimate help is inappropriate when you are at a gas station pump, blocking everyone else. Good luck with your "inappropriate" van.


Bloodbath Barbie

   The metallic turkey pan tilted my way. I was thankful I was sitting in the middle of the theater seats instead of the front row. The sight of the Barbie's ripped up head sitting in red liquid mixed with sugar and milk. It was probably pretty close the equivalent of of Hannibal Lecter's cloud nine.
   Although completely disgusting and the connotations of blood and guts of barbie very close to making a few classmates gag, I found the dark humor a great break from the lectures I had and would endure the rest of the day.I have the best Mass Media Law teacher ever.
   To illustrate misappropriation and copyright infringement he introduced my class to bloodbath barbie. He busted out the blender in a box, filled it with milk, sugar, bananas, all sorts of delicious items. It looked pretty tasty, like a milkshake. The he pulled out the barbie, poured some vanilla (turned out to be red dye) and started to mix-shouting obscenely about the implications of barbie on feminism and it's destruction of women. As he shouted, the class gasped in unison as the pale mixture quickly turned an ugly dark red color. 
   This is the last two weeks of school. It was good to see something that made me laugh instead of whine. 


Graduation Countdown!

This morning my mom thought she was pretty funny. I slugged out of my room and she was already up and puttering around.  She stopped me, "Michelle, how many days?"  She was hoping for my moving countdown, so she could say, "Isn't school more important than moving?" I shot her down because graduation is way more important than moving (three weeks or 16 school days left!)
At first when I picked up my cap and gown, I was pessimistic. They were symbols of lost years and thousands and thousands of lost dollars. In my my mind the steps of graduation were more like steps off a cliff. I had dreams of setting the clothing on fire and throwing them out of my car window while I curse at the remains. 
Now the gown hangs in my bathroom and the cap sits on my desk like a home-boy.  These symbols are more like good friends now and I can't wait to celebrate the end of my college career. Five years is a long time to accomplish anything. They symbolize the hardest thing I have ever done and my ability to finish and accomplish my goals-even ones that seem impossible.
So here's to finishing my five year plan. I suppose I should start a new one pretty soon...


Buying Friends

How sad is that?
The story begins Monday.  I was in a fairly good mood and the tasks in my world fell into place. My destination after intense studying was the gym and I was thinking about how much I love working out my legs. I strolled outside of the Union Building with a little bounce in my step.
I faltered a little when I saw those green jackets and strange faces cornering students. Typically I dismiss people like Greenpeace and pretend to hurry away. Today I tried a different attack, right down the middle because I knew they would searching out the stragglers off the sidewalk.
I am a sucker for brown eyes and blonde hair.  He had to know my weakness the minute he saw me from his post in the middle of the sidewalk.  Lincoln from Denver, Colorado-a Greenpeace activist recruiter. I felt comfortable with him and his light caramel eyes that seemed to be joking with me from the first word.  He gave me his selling spill on the need for people like me.  I laughed and joked and tried a little to get out of it, but I couldn't stand strong.  I paid $20 right there on the spot to be a part of something I don't have a particular passion for. I paid that money for an amusing conversation with a nice guy with fantastic eyes, who I probably won't see again. That's pretty pathetic. I buy my friends..


Hollywood Connection Easter Egg Promo

 For those of you who follow my internship blog...this might be very familiar. I don't think there are many of you...if any. I think the internship blog explained my Easter best.
The Easter Bunny used to be pretty tight with me. He stopped calling when I turned twelve and the hang outs began to dwindle. He had to move on with his life I suppose and provide delicious jelly beans and candy eggs to others.  I knew he was seeing a new bunch of kids. I just didn't know how great those kids were until I went to Hollywood Connection on Saturday.
See what I mean? Great kids!

Just a few steps away from the Main Hare, I spread my own version of Easter cheer with a little assistance from my internship supervisor, Rob, and Fisher/Peggy.I would like to say I am comparable to the Easter Bunny that day, throwing out gifts and prizes all over the place with the wheel. The Spin & Win game, everyone who spun that colorful wheel won a sweet prize. It got pretty intense. Look at the mass of people there!
It was a fantastic time! I love hanging out with kids and prizes! Oh and hanging with the Easter Bunny of course.


Internship Images(special) and update

It's been a while since I have blogged about my internship in a personal way. I blog about it nearly every day on the Today's 106.5 Web site, but I hold back because I know I could probably upset people there if I posted some of this stuff. So here's all the stuff I can't say on that blog. Today I drove up to the back of the station like I have been doing (thank you Utah Construction) and I found this car.
If you drive this car. I am judging you right now. Not only does the back of your car read Cobalt in small dealership embossed letters, you felt the need to put a print cover over it saying the same thing...You are a special individual.

I have also been moving up in the line of station heirarchy. I haven't been granted a permanent/paying/full-time position but I was rewarded with a secret badge under wraps. It's nice to come and go as I please without 6'11" Rob escorting me out the door. However, I don't know if I feel any less like a minion with the name and picture on the badge. Take a look.....
Now tell me how you would feel?
I also wanted to throw in my plug for this weekend. The station including Fisher and Peggy (I believe) is going to be all over the Easter Egg Hunt at Hollywood Connection tomorrow from 10 -Noon.  I'll be kicking it at the booth giving away ridiculous prizes. I wish I purchased a decent pair of bunny ears for the occasion. Here's the deal, if you bring me bunny ears, I will rig the prize wheel for a win. Deal?