C is for Christmas...and Christmas Specials

When I was a kid Christmas wasn't about presents or even Jesus (don't tell my mom). Christmas was all about the awesome Christmas specials.
Over the years, my parents and siblings recorded a plethora of Christmas specials.  I used to sit in front of the television with my little brother, watching the old feedback speckled shows. Here's my top five Christmas specials/shows.

1. Claymation Christmas Celebration:  There is nothing better than the magical California Raisins singing while an orange a blue dinosaur direct the special.

2. Garfield Christmas Special:  I used to love this heavy sarcastic feline from my childhood. The image of Garfield and Grandma rocking next to a fire reminds me of my family and Christmas before it got so complicated.

3. The story of Santa Claus:  Love the music and animation. The little singing elf is still captivating. I'm very sad the clips I've found are such a sad quality.

4.The Bears Who Saved Christmas: This movie wasn't my favorite, but for a few years it was the only one I could find...and the bears are so cute!

5. The Twelve Days of Christmas:  It's so tender and puts the song into a next context. I love it. And I'm sure not many people remember it.

6. Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer:  How could any child born since 1964 forget this magical stop motion Christmas special. "I want to be a dentist".

7. A Charlie Brown Christmas: This Christmas movie gets a bad reputation sometimes but I still love it.  Poor Charlie Brown; it's a good thing Linus saves the day by reminding everyone about the real magic behind Christmas.

8.  How the Grinch Stole Christmas:  Nothing is better or more classic than the cartoon version of this wonderful story.  The animation and colors are pure genius. I love the Grinch. :)

9. Frosty the Snowman:  I love that cuddly snowman.


Today's Funny List

Today has been a great day so far.  Dave looked at two great houses and we put some offers out there. I had a work Christmas party where everyone fawned over our cute baby girl.
The best part of today was yet to come.
While driving into Salt Lake on the 201 freeway, I noticed something was amiss on the electric signs (the ones that indicate how long travel time is via I-15 or 2-15).  It read like this:
I-15                              $15
2-15                              $&15
I didn't realize traveling by freeway would be so expensive!  15 dollars! Guess I'll be taking side roads from now on.  Obviously, the system was being a little funny.
Just moments ago I sat down to check my email...or more like filter out all of the garbage and the very first email I see is for SeniorPeopleMeet titled "Meet Like-Minded Singles Over 50"...I'm pretty sure I'm not that old. In fact, I'm not even half that old yet.


Psych Love Affair

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I have spent the last five weeks of my life with James Roday and Dule' Hill. Those 76 episodes of "Psych" have changed my life for the better.
Steve Franks, the creator of Psych is pure genius. This love affair ended today and I anxiously await the next season's arrival on Netflix many moons from now. I wish everyone could enjoy the sensational dialogue between the characters. If you haven't viewed Psych, please do....now.

Shawn Spencer: Do you really want to know my process?
Carlton Lassiter: Absolutely.
Shawn Spencer: Well, it starts with a holla! and ends with a Creamsicle.

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Facebook Ads

I've seen my fair share of Facebook advertisements. There's the typical slutty lingerie, random college logos and product placement photos for everything from a phone to a car.  There is one photo that took me off-guard this morning.
While doing my usual Facebook stalking and creepin' I noticed this picture in the corner of my screen with an advertisement for being an ultrasound tech. This is the creepiest picture I have seen in a long time. A giant hand holding tiny little babies and a giant ultrasound in the background. I get the ultrasound picture but there is no logical explanation for the four babies in  a hand.   It looks like an anti-abortion sign. You know the ones where they carry the sign with a picture of a baby pre-development.  Creepy right?


Utah City Smells

My  brother and his family came to visit the baby this weekend.  Mason and Rylan were enjoying the six inch wide balcony when Mason gets a very disgusted look on his face.
"What's that smell outside?"
I couldn't help laughing, "That's West Valley."

Dave and I live in a nice apartment complex in the middle of West Valley.  Really...it's not ghetto. 
Unfotunately, West Valley does have a certain smell.  Like manure and thanks to the construction...burnt rubber.  I guess we've gotten used to it.  My nephews picked up on it pretty quick.  Good thing it's temporary.


Brain Loss at Week 38

I heard about "pregnancy brain".  I've lasted nearly my whole pregnancy without an episode.
A few weeks ago Dave and I were cruising up and down the grocery store aisles and I remember we need carrots. 
We are standing in the dairy/meat area and all of a sudden I couldn't remember where the carrots would be in a grocery store.  I looked at Dave and I knew if I admitted this to him or said anything I would never live it down. 
Lucky for me, Dave turned and started walking towards the produce.
Living proof that this "pregnancy brain" does exist.


Needles Love Me

My phlebotomist at my OBGYN is awesome. It's a good thing because I see her at least once a week these days to test my platelets and make sure my Hepbrin is therapuetic.
While she was drawing my blood, I mentioned that I never feel the needle when she draws my blood.
She responded, "It's because we sharpen the needles when you come." 
Tender right? My phlebotomist sharpens needles so that it doesn't hurt to draw my blood. Dave spoke up and asked if they use dull forks for the patients they don't like and just let the blood drip into a bowl.  Yay for sharp needles


Reading is Hard

Reading is hard for my coworkers this week. Disasters happened (on air) a few times because of their lack of reading.
In elementary school, we learned to read the whole paragraphs before answering questions on reading quizzes or you would probably get them wrong. Here are my work examples of idiocy.
1. My boss sent out an email stating that a few commercial spots listed for download would not be available and to delete them from the playlists.  Two hours later Coworker #1 responded to email stating we were still missing these commercials from the playlist.
2. A KJZZ rep contacted us via email with some commercial number replacements to change some old ones.  She highlighted in bright yellow that the spot would not actually be down until later in the afternoon. Coworker #2 comes running in asking me if we have the spot or if there was a commercial list sent.  I read the email and pointed out the highlighted section...he blamed medicinal drugs...I blame his stupidity.
3. My good friend Coworker #3 sent out a notice regarding what she named a show (because it was an extra episode) to EVERYONE in the office naming a Thursday episode as ZFRNDXPFRI to make sure it wouldn't get deleted.   My boss noticed it wasn't playing and went looking for ZFRNDSTHU.....reading entire emails is hard. So this episode ran a black screen for the first segments because someone didn't check or read when they were programming for Friday night....special.
I wonder how much it would cost to send my whole department back to first and second grade.  Basic principles would have served our station the headache and Utah the Friends episode they sought to view...at 3 a.m.


Beatles Serenade

High school was a funny time for me. I was an awkward teenager and I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be.
Junior year was especially strenuous with all of my classes and extracurricular activities.
My Spanish II teacher, Mr. Cabanillas, made my days interesting. He had many names among my fellow classmates, the most common nickname was "Cabi".
He was one of my favorite teachers, consistently threatening (in a teasing way) to do drive-byes or make us into burritos if we didn't do our assignment. He was actually from Mexico and one day we had an entire lesson about why Mexico and Spanish was going to be part of America by 2012 or something.
My favorite memory with Cabi was the day he sang to me in the hall. With his thick spanish accent he sang "Michelle" by the Beatles. 
It wasn't the first time this song has been sung to me, but it is the first time someone sang the French inspired song to me with a Spanish accent. It was surreal.  The memory still makes me laugh.


Life without, according to Dave

Frequently, Dave and I mock argue about the future and our cheesy inability to live without the other.
Last night he declared triumphantly that he would die first.
It has always been our agreement to die together as old people when the house caves in.  I tossed the usual cheesy statement aside this time and said, "What am I supposed to do without you?!"
He looked down for a second, "I don't know....crochet?"
According to Dave; all I would do without him  is crochet for hours on end, probably sobbing all over the yarn.


The Five People You May Meet in a Hospital

I've never really been bothered by hospitals; despite death, sickness and whatever nasty things happen in them. My recent fiasco introduced me to more than the sterile white walls and the hard gurneys. I met some faces behind St. Mark's and I discovered people I loved, hated and everything in between.  There are five types I have met that I wanted to share.
1. The Optimist:  The optimist has no place in a hospital, unless they're going to say, "You're cancer free" or "You get to go home."  My optimist experience happened shortly after my arrival.
I went to St. Marks Hospital to find out of I was going into preterm labor--due to the monstrous back pain I have developed.  A few quick questions, a fetal heart monitor and blood pressure check and here comes the optimist. The hospital's OBGYN, with a bright/fake smile on her face and her almost child-sized doctor's jacket hanging too big off her small frame.  With that same happy smile (only hinting at the fear her job brings her) and a high pitched voice she says, "Your pain is probably from your sciatic nerve and there's nothing we can do for you," and under her breath she mutters something about a Doppler test for my swollen leg.
It's great she actually had the test done, it found my slow blood flow and the blood clot eventually, but I'm pregnant and my back may or may not have exploded that day.  Don't bring a smile and tell me nothing can be done..I'll bite you.
2. The Exchange Student:  I don't meant to stereotype but I was shocked when our evening doctor came by with a heavy European accent. When he came in and started asking the same questions, it was really hard to actually understand what he said.  Dave was suspicious about his vampire abilities and I felt like I should cover my new ugly red scab so he wouldn't start sucking my blood or something. He was very nice, I just wish I could understand him so we could understand what/where we were going tomorrow or the next day.
3. Nurse A: My first nurse in Labor & Delivery was awful.  We had matching names, which made it worse.  She asked the questions, threw on the monitor and checked my blood pressure--that's it.  This irks me.  Her job is to take care of me and the other patients. I felt like I was either a number or just another step in the conveyor belt of hospital work. It was extremely frustrating, especially when I have pain.
4. Nurse B: The rest of my nurses were awesome. The same ones came in day after day and actually helped me out--which was great when I'm on bedrest.  The morning nurses even smelled lovely. Like they actually cared what they looked like and did for a living. Not to mention their legit smiles and sympathetic smiles. I freaking loved my time with them at the Postpartum Ward.  They checked more than my vitals--checked my water, pain and everything else. When it came to showing Dave and I the process of giving shots, they walked us through nice and slow to help us feel more confident in the process.
5. Radiology:  Who knew radiology would be so awesome. They simplified my life immensely. After two ultrasounds on my left leg/groin area, they let me kick it in their department until the "surgery/process" for checking out my veins was ready.  So I didn't have to go back to Labor & Delivery. The assistants also provided me the much needed water and some entertaining magazines to pass the time. They were awesome and their attitudes kept me calm despite the increased awkward/odd situation of my awkward veins.

St. Mark's Hospital was overall a positive experience. Each person held their own sort of experience for me as a patient.  I just wish all the people we interacted with spoke English natively and had a genuine sense of care for the situation.


Love From a Drunken Stranger

A Friday, July 1, the day of a magical three day weekend for many individuals. Many hours after the 2:00 p.m. leave of the company (in general). A few choice individuals, including myself, was left to pick up the pieces of system failure and loss of programming. Then I decided it was a day for Grease Burger...I mean Crown Burger.
I never tire of working downtown. The sights, the sounds, late night empty roads and strange drunken bums.
While standing at a light a man in his fifties pulls up next to me on his bicycle--that's not code for motorcycle or chopper. I'd been standing there a while, waiting for the light to change and he found it an appropriate time to comment to me, "If you stand there long enough, I'll have to flirt with you."
I laughed and hoped he would just walk away, instead he called me beautiful.  After a short conversation he says, "Stay out of trouble. I love you. I'll see you later." and proceeded to ride his bike away--in the middle of the intersection that was still moving with heavy traffic.  At least he was wearing a helmet.
Even in 90 degree weather, a bright red sunburn and a roundish belly, I still got it--a questionably intoxicated fifty year old me on bicycles will hit on me downtown and risk his life while declaring their love. Romanticism still lives on in downtown Salt Lake City--across from the Crown Burger.


This isn't Friday

"Friday" by Rebecca Black is known as the worst song/music video/youtube video ever made. Yet, this song continues to reappear at odd intervals.
While in Ohio for my oldest niece's high school graduation, the commencement student speaker ended his spech with lyrics from the song, "Cause it's Friday, gotta get down on Friday".  It really was Friday, but it was a formal education commencement speech. Kids these days...
This morning Dave and I were taking a walk around West Valley Recreational Center with a lovely view of carnies (setting up for the city carnival this weekend) and the recreational center's outdoor swimming area.  The swimming area had music. While walking around a particularly lovely tree area, "Party Party Fun Fun" cut into both our walk and conversation. The song was playing for the intercom at the rec center.
For the record, this isn't an actual published song; she doesn't have an agent and she doesn't have a recording contract. Also...it is not Friday. I suppose to Rebecca Black, it's always Friday.


Only in Ohio

My oldest niece graduated from high school this last week. Dave and I flew out to show our love and introduce Dave to the family..... perhaps the state of Ohio. Each time I have stayed in Ohio, amusing true stories find their way to me. Like this one:
Our first night, while channel flipping we graced the news. This story was up about an abduction and a sketch of the suspect. Only in Ohio would this sketch appear. Clearly he is wearing his teeth this time around.
So if your in the Cincinnati, Ohio part watch out for this man, wearing a fishing hat, a lazy eye(s) and buck teeth (probably fake).


A Churro Tale

After work, I often think of foods that I want to end my day with.  Last night my mind drifted to a strange place of horchata and churros.  The more I thought about the water-like, cinnamon rice milk and cinnamon covered pastry; the more I needed some.  By the time I arrived at Dave's apartment, I had to have a churro or my world would be like Eeyore's world...sad and gray with heavy rain.
It was almost 10:00 p.m. and I felt sure that Beto's/Rancherito's would help solve this need inside of me. The need that had to be filled. No churros there but delicious horchata all around. Step one: horchata....CHECK.
Next on the line of fast food on 5600 S., Taco Bell. I knew it was a long shot, but Dave explained they had cinnamon twists which could be close to the flavor if all else failed.  The woman in drive-thru was super generous and offered the 89 cent treat to us for free.  After eating one...I was disappointed in the chip-like barely cinnamon taste.
I wanted to give up.  I had one win with the horchata but maybe I wasn't meant to have this churro that would surely change my life. We started towards Dave's apartment and I turned back on a whim to Del Taco.
Del Taco, the most unlikely prince in this tale provided me with the most amazing churros. Easily one of the best I have ever had in my life.  Who knew that the lower scale fast food, Del Taco, would come through when all other places (literally) failed me. :) Thanks, Del Taco, for completing me.


Best Day Ever

Do you know what that is? A ring! So Monday, April 25 was a big day as I already described. This was another super awesome reason.
The story is more detail than you probably want:
After a super long (and awesome) day, I wanted to give Dave his birthday presents early because I was super excited because I did so well.  (I got him a cheesy pic & frame of us as well as "The Wire: Complete Series) Since I have to work on his birthday and I wasn't going to be able to spend the whole day, I thought it would be awesome to give them to him early.
He opened the picture and frame first. It was a positive reaction, win.  Then dinner/"Indian food" hated me and I went and puked my guts out.  My reaction to puking is crying. Awesome...and I cleaned up after myself....and his bathroom.
I came back out and after a cracker to chase the vomit from my mouth, I felt fine. Dave opens the last gift and hesitates..........No super excited reaction, no exclamation of my awesomeness.  Just the longest pause in the world.  Disappointment! I was so sad, I told him it wasn't a big deal and I knew he wanted The Sopranos more...I should have thought things through.  Then came the unexpected, "Michelle, these gifts are really cool."  Wow...sounded forced...., "but the best gift would be is if you would be my wife." Then one knee and more crying...I said "of course". It was perfect....despite my vomit.

Due to circumstances, I have like seven weeks to plan this wedding. It's going to be a rush


The Culprit

The other day I was minding my own business in the kitchen. I was making a delicious ham and cheese sandwich when I glanced out the kitchen window and noticed this.
Just above the chair on the left...a gnome, wearing a red pointy hat and pointing away from the apartment with a carrot like nose.
Normally, this sight of small porceline creechers would not worry me...until three of my neighbors moved out.  The first was the one directly across the sidewalk from the gnome.  Another upstairs across the sidewalk and recently the apartment right next to the strange gnome household. 
What does this small midget hold in it's eyes?  Perhaps the glares are like Superman or Cyclops from X-Men and he will strike at any moment with lazer beams.  Or maybe at night he awakens in the darkness and slips into apartments, striking fear into the tenants sleepy eyes.  What if the gnome isn't a gnome at all, but a camera to spy on people for the murderous tenants who owns him?
This gnome is clearly becoming a problem here at the apartments of Fox Point at Old Farm. I shall be careful where I tread, maybe ducking when I pass the apartment (just to be safe).


I'll Take the Attitude

A fairly old picture of Russell and I
Let me introduce you to my attitude filled nephew Russell. He's around four years old and has quite the personality and sometimes more attitude than a teenage girl.
I don't even need to see him to know it.  I called my sister recently and while we were talking he wanted to talk to me, his lovely Aunt Michelle.
Before getting on the phone he asks my sister, "Hey, mom, is she coming to your birthday tomorrow?"
My sister explained very simply, "No, she lives too far away."
"You know, she COULD get on a plane."
I'm getting flack from a four year old. Love him.


Parental Tsunami

1946 Hawaii tsunami

My sister was the first to inform me via a text message of this so called "tsunami" that was to hit Hawaii.  I laughed it off because they always get tsunamis and crazy weather there.
Before my parents left for their 40th anniversary to Oahu, Hawaii; we joked about the volcano on Hawaii island.  Then I saw pictures of Japan and threats of it hitting California.  My lovely parents are ridiculous. This is me laughing at them in a sarcastic bitter tone.  No one in the family has heard a peep from them (no email, no phonecall no tragic call of missing persons).  I know they didn't bring their cell phone because they were thinking with their wallets. I can still recall the conversation the night before they left. My fathe was suggesting to take the cell phone and my mom's exact phrase was, "Richard, it costs so much to make a call from Hawaii. We better just leave it here." 
If I was in their shoes and didn't call, email or anything. I would get the crap knocked out of me.  This "tsunami" made national headlines this morning and if my parents had any good common sense, they would have called someone to say it was no big deal.
I found it was "no big deal" the old fashioned way, "Google News". Google News was kind enough to have the time and the wherewithall to provide me the necessary details; aka "only wet roads and minimal damage".  It would have been nice to know from their words. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Next time if you call me frantic when I'm late for dinner, I'm so not answering the phone.


Sue Sylvester

 Confession: I love Glee. I love the mixture of song, drama and especially comedy.  Comedy that ensues occasionally by the students but constantly from my favorite villain: Sue Sylvester.

She glares with blue stone eyes at Will and purses her lips. She throws the best tantrums and insults. Her sarcasm is so thick that I couldn't cut through it with a hack-saw.

 Today at work, I was lucky. Most of my work was done for me, so I spent the day watching Glee and loving Sue's quotes. Here's one of my faves:

"You'll be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't look like a lesbian."


Waking Fuzzy

As usual, I can feel the cold seeping into the room from the small ventilation holes in the floor.  I still don't completely understand why it's necessary to keep all the equipment in this room at four degrees Fahrenheit.  I understand keeping all of the computers, servers and equipment from overheating is important; but four degrees? Okay, so it's not that cold. Maybe it just feels that cold at seven in the morning.
I can't remember the last time I got up before nine in the morning during a workday.  Especially on a turnaround, which means I worked until eleven last night. While going to school, I used to get up at six all the time.  How did I do that?! Maybe I'm just getting old.
To say this morning is rough is a huge understatement.  I have been fighting off a massive cold and some extra health shenanigans. 
I feel fuzzy, like my whole body has fuzzed into my surroundings.  My head weighs a ton from congestion and my belly feels like I've chowed a literal ton of food, though I've only had my usual cereal. This is likely going to continue soon in the next few months (and not by choice, like this time). It's going to be a very long day.


Captain Nerdy One Liner

This is his I'm weird and uncomfortable face.
Let me introduce you to someone who is awesome: David Michael Hunt (insert cheesy expressions of love and tenderness).
Our dates since November include fantastical journeys of sidewalk chalk, Supernatural, board games, D.I. adventures, cartoons, walks and overall goodness.  Laughter is a pretty big part of our relationship, due to Dave's amusing statements and cheesy one liners.
Good example: last night while draping his arm around me and flipping over to Supernatural Season 3, he made a joke about his super nerdy joys, Battlestar Gallactica.  Then he turned to me and said, "Michelle, I'm like your Battlestar Gallactica Captain."
I guess that makes me the hot robot...I'll take it.


Evening Adventures

African tundras with spotted giraffes and gorillas swinging through the vines are very adventurous sights.
I'm not likely to witness any of those things and when I feel an adventure coming; it's best not to fight it. Adventurous feelings create a slight problem due to my wonderful evening work schedule. There's not a lot to do at 11pm at night and it's really the only time I have to spend with Dave.

My favorite chalk drawing that pointed me out
So when these "urges" hit, I don't think of petting a wild animal or running through a forest when I feel adventurous. I think of sidewalk chalk and balloons.
The first night we attacked Derrick's house with sidewalk chalk. We tagged it with Gumby, superheroes, a robot Santa and complaints about the lack of Diet Coke with Lime.  We even left the chalk so Nathan could color too.  Christine called the next day with a long awkward pause, "Dd you by chance chalk up my driveway last night? There's a giant bat-symbol on the driveway and I thought of you."

As you can see at Dennis' there was some serious rain and it was freezing! 
  Dennis & Tina was clearly next, despite the long Tooele drive.  It doesn't matter if the drive was only ten minutes, Tooele is a long and awful drive.  We had every intention of stuffing the doorway with balloons so when the door was opened all of the balloons would fall inside (like an awesome party).  The weather disagreed and a freezing bitter windblown rain started up, preventing anything from sticking. So instead, I spiced up the stairway with some balloonage. 

It was pretty cool to do it anonymously but in the end both parties figured out the instigator. Derrick and Christine by the giant bat-symbol and Dennis and Tina by watching my out the window (I can't believe I missed that). 
:) Best part: hanging out with Dave-a-roo, doing random things at midnight that make no sense.


I Survived a Horror Movie

 I say that I am both cursed and lucky for my ability to recall my dreams. Today, I say unlucky. I was part of a real life horror movie.  Dave and I were on a cross-country Greyhound bus, headed for Oklahoma for a family party. Word traveled through the bus that the stretch of road had a string of murders from a transient serial killer.
He killed his victims by tying them to a fence, ripping the back of the shirt open and attaching car starting cables to their back and a car battery.  He also had a habit of dressing their fronts in priest-like robes.
When Dave told me in his sarcastic voice, I laughed. There was no way this was going to happen to us, we were on a very safe and newer bus.
Just like in a horror movie, right after I said that the bus broke down.  Images flash as we walk in the snow, looking at the empty fields and lines of fences.  I can see passengers of the bus in front of me and behind me but pretty quickly they spread out by walking pace.  Then I noticed some of the passengers popping up in the distance on fences with the cables pinching their backs and shoulder blades.
I looked at Dave sideways and caught his blue eyes.  I knew that in horror movie only one person typically survives. I tried to tell him this time we would both survive, but I knew Dave was going to be next on the cable killer's list.
We kept walking, stopping at a cute, abandoned house. I tried not to think of the owners potentially tied with wire to a fence.  We started out in big rooms in the house, but I knew the killer was looking in the windows at us. I caught the shadows in the shiny window surface three times before we head into the master closet. 
Dave wasn't scared, he just hugged me for a minute before I told him I had to handle this take the reins "Halloween" style.  I picked up an old, wooden bat and walked out with weak resolve. 
The killer was standing in the doorway with the only light behind him, his whole body and face just one big black shape. That's the point where I woke up, with an image of Dave hanging on a fence with cables attached to his back and an electric shock in my blood.


Cooking Apocalypse Style

Don't tell anyone, I really did make this

With Matlock recording in the background and my fingers typing commercials and television programming, there's that itch again.  It's worse than the one you get sometimes right behind your shoulder blades.  This itch is genetic.  My mother and her mother and her mother until maybe a gorilla or something.  Even a gorilla gets this itch once in a while, although I'm sure it's no the same kind of itch.
I'm 23 1/2 years old and this itch has never plagued me until now.  I think it's a sign of the Apocalypse, the Second Coming, end of the world, beginning of World War III....whatever you think is the end of life as we know it. I'm talking about the "cooking itch".  
I've never been a cook and I'm not good at cooking anything that doesn't have printed instructions on cardboard.  Your lucky to see me combine any two ingredients for a meal or other cooking endeavors. I'm sure my mom dreamed of another domestic daughter when I was born-my sister, Lara, a natural cook/mom/good person/etc.  I was proud to be different and disgusted by this need to cook that the women in my family have.
I have been more ambitious since I added cooking to my bucket list (cooking all of the recipes in the Lewis Family Cookbook). This project isn't supposed to get bigger than one recipe a week (if I'm lucky), but this would be the 3rd recipe this week.  Cooking is becoming my cocaine.
Today I wish I wasn't working because all I can think about is pots/pans, vegetables, lasagna, taco soup, enchiladas and magical aromas proclaiming my hard work and delicious food. I am day-dreaming of cooking domestic meals, don't tell my mom.


Best Facebook Day Ever

I often peruse Facebook on breaks and lunch...before, after and during work.  Posts were epic today. I haven't laughed at/with Facebook like in probably 160 days or something.  This picture was posted and I had to share both the pic and the comments. I highlighted my favorites.
Needless to say, I have a tattoo appointment with an artist named Butch on Monday.

Meghann: I'm getting this tattooed tomorrow
Shell Tate: can I get one to match? only with like a bunny instead or something?

Jared B:It's ridiculous how things like this actually exists. I can't comprehend it. 

Meghann: Yes, Michelle! Definitely! And Jared- You can't comprehend how beautiful it is?

Jared B: Sure

Meghann: Hahahaha it really is breathtaking. I think I'll call it... A CatiCorn

Jared B: Unipussy

Shell Tate Jared, that's the best comment ever!

Madeline: Tramp stamp? that will def look good.

Meghann:I was thinking that- or maybe on my chest
Haven: are you serious???

Meghann: Only if Michelle does it with me. I've always wanted a mystical creature to grace my body.  HAHAHAHAAAA
Shell Tate lol...I'll meet you there, when was the appt. with Butch (aka the tattoo artist) again?

Kim: Really were at 

Meghann: Maybe like, 6:00? Does that sound good? We gotta prepare up for the awesomeness


Spinning Dream

"If this is what it takes, just to lie with my mistakes."

"Your afraid to find out all this hope you had sent into the sky, by now had crashed"



My days have an odd habit of mixing together lately. Evenings spent in the darkened video room with monitors and buttons and my days spent sleeping. It's monotonous, boring and kind of lonely.  If you don't count text messages and a quick 'hello' at work, I don't interact with people. 
I crave attention and some sort of recognition for work and other things I do in life. I'm restless. On nights when I sit in this non-ergonomic chair in front of monitors, I think of dreams and goals. I think of the church and my progression. That's when I feel like life is draining out of me. 
I just rediscovered Pandora Radio online again. Oh glorious Pandora! With my perfect radio station in place: an odd mixture of Pearl Jam, Postal Service and Relient K.  My work becomes more like a dream. 
With my eyes pinched tight and my arms folded loosely in my lap, I imagine I'm somewhere else and the smooth rhythms and steady voices bring me back from my electrical horror, into something more lucid and beautiful.


My Batman

Do you remember this?

  I don't think I'll ever forget Saturday mornings with tall, dark and handsome Batman. I can still see "midget Michelle" checking the clock for the time and barreling onto the couch.  
  There was something glittery about the whole combination: my 80's style pajamas, mussed up hair, a soft blanket on the couch and of course the Dark Knight.
  He and I shared something special in those early mornings. The Bat Signal clearly spoke to me across animation circuits and television broadcasting.  Those over-rated commercials about the "Easy Bake Oven" or Barbie Dreamhouse was child-play when I could learning about fighting crime, justice and real heroes.
  While other heroes had their stupid puns (winy Spiderman) or ridiculous powers (mumbling Superman), Batman didn't have the awkward "S" tattooed to his chest nor did he shoot nasty webs out of his wrists. His dark cloak and smirk gave hint to a certain sophistication and class. He used his perfectly normal self (pimped out by some sweet gadgets) and showed villains of Gotham City and everyone else in the world how justice was done--by real people.
  Now that I'm older I see a lot of value in Batman. I wrote an English paper on him and like any true obsessive nerd, I could debate Batman subjects with the best of them. I just got the whole Batman: The Animated Series on DVD and I'm so excited to reacquaint myself with true love--ahem--I mean justice and heroic actions of my childhood.  Here's to Batman--a real hero and not just some fool wearing a bright cape and silly boots. I think I could be Batman....


Drowning in Matlock

You would know him, if you saw him.  He's standing on the stairs wearing a periwinkle blue trench-coat and a smirk.  The slight wrinkles on his face and high water slacks remind me of kind grandfathers that smile at me on Trax.  His mussed up tie and fluffy white cap of hair can not overshadow the beady eyes that are digging at me through the monitors.
I have a love/hate relationship with Matlock. The man both terrifies and intrigues me. Luckily, I was able to avoid his piercing looks and smug smiles through my childhood and most of my adult life--thus far.
Every weekend I see more of Matlock than I ever wanted. It doesn't matter which day it is; Saturday or Sunday night shift, he's there to accuse me in the dark, late nights. 
Some days Matlock reminds me of my dad, with over the top expressions and the cheesest puns/lines known to mankind. I wouldn't be surprised if I found my dad watching him in the basement, "Michelle, it's just education; don't tell.  No one has to know why I'm so funny."
At that point I could roll my eyes and say, "Sure, Dad.  I'll let you stick to your fantasies and imaginary world of humor and awesome-ness that only Matlock and you truly enjoy."
I bet that's true too...Baby Boomers are probably the only ones who enjoy it, that's probably why it still airs in 1960-1970 quality with pinched colors and dulled edges. Or why it airs at 1pm on KJZZ right after a slew of awful Hollywood judge shows.
So every weekend Matlock and I stand off. Well, he stands off and I cower in the corner of the video tape room away from his glaring looks. Maybe if I don't look at the screens, he can't eat any more bits of my soul or laugh at my pathetic fear.  
You win this time, Matlock.


The Bacone, aka Bacon Time Space Continuum Breaker

As my friend Jim Gaffigan would say, "...if you put bits of bacon on a strip of bacon, you could travel in time. It would be a bacon-to-bacon time-space continuum."

Well Jimmy, here's our chance to travel that magical meat time warp: the bacone. Created out of San Francisco and molded by a man with a bright green mohawk and lovely eyes, the bacone is molded to be stuffed with delicious eggs, cheese, gravy and topped with a biscuit.  It is genius.  Someday I want to meet this mohawked man and try his delicious bacone. 

Video Bonuses:
1. Brian Boitano and his crazy, overly flamboyant explanations
2. A green mohawk...not just a mohawk--a spiked mohawk that reminds me of the Statue of Liberty 
3. Bacon with space to actually put more bacon---or breakfast foods if you prefer. 


2010 Grates

It's been real 2010, a real pain....and some awesome things. I was thinking about my 'greats' of 2010.  Some would quickly point out graduation and working for KSL.  Although walking in the Huntsman Center with my cap and gown was priceless and nothing really prepared me for sitting in front of televisions screens for news; I don't mean those kind of 'greats'.  "Grates", my cool slang term for funny things I am grateful for. Here's my list of awesome 'grate' things in my life from 2010: grateful.

1. Public Transportation: so there never is a shortage of bum/crazy stories or visuals like this guy <--------------

2. I work with exactly 4 women, which means the bathroom is pretty much always clean--much different from when I worked at call centers and shared the bathroom with hundreds of women....smelly/dirty women.

 3. To be a Utah Ute, so I can brag and trash talk all my blue-bleeding BYU "friends" about my boys winning 17 to 16  in 2010.

 4. For my marine brother who calls me while driving to go to dinner and often gets distracted instead, sometimes with road rage....and a long slew of curse words.

5. For my cousins, so on Thanksgiving I can build robots with their children instead of having an adult conversation.

 6. My car, Dante, to be the envy of all the town, with all my trashbags and a broken windshield.

7. The word "shenanigans", it always makes me laugh.

 8. A fantastic imagination, so I can always be entertained...even if everyone else doesn't get it.

 9. The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, so I can bear sarcasm and weird actual events along inappropriate lines/jokes with laughter galore...that Scottish man never ceases to make me giggle, with a robot skeleton sidekick (Geoff Peterson) and his random puppetry and impressions. I will love him until the day I die.

10. The gym, so I can use my imagination to kick everyone's trash including slimy ex-boyfriends as well as maintain health.

 11. My apartment handles snow removal so I don't have to, including on our "breezeway" in front of our door and next to my window. Too bad they pick the middle of the night to scrape snow and ice. Yes, I heard you crazy shovelers at 3am, 5am and then 8am.