Wrong Easter Egg

Holding on to mommy and daddy-I didn't even use a filter. The colors are so bright!
As Cami gets older, Dave and I become more excited to share our holiday traditions. This year we decided to share a small Easter Egg hunt with Grandpa Bruce and Grandma Jean.
Dave filled some Easter eggs with cocoa puffs and put them around the yard. Cami is still learning to walk so we helped her toddle over to the plastic colored eggs and one of use would hand the egg to her. She picked them up and put them in the basket pretty good. Overall, it was a good time until we stepped inside.
This horrible smell filled the kitchen with serious, pungent power. We check our shoes and we're all clean except Dave and Cameron. Their shoes were covered in some really nasty, gooey pet poop from the grass. So while Cami happily devoured her cocoa puffs, Dave sprayed down their shoes and his feet outside (it's a good thing it was so warm).  It still makes me laugh how excited he was...only to step in poop. Good thing Cami is young and oblivious to all things gross.


Little Things

Although things can be very hard, there are reminders of good things in this world. I'm lucky to have such great family close by; the kind of family that people dream of. My sister-in-law delivered me a bag of these treasures on Wednesday. She must have saved them from Christmas! The package was perfectly timed. The milky white chocolate spliced with candy cane chunks can chase away any bad feelings. It reminds me of Christmas. In the back of my mind I can see clean, white snow blanketing the world. Downtown Salt Lake is sparkling with colored lights and the world is embracing each other with real love and compassion. How appropriate, the reminder of Christmas the day before Easter and not an egg or cross in sight. Cheers.


Free Weekend

Dave left us for Vegas last weekend for his friend's bachelor party. Paul gets two weekends with just Dave this year; his bachelor party in Vegas and his wedding in New Jersey (because we can't afford to send both of us).
His friend's wife stayed with me so I wasn't totally alone and we had a lot of fun, but I don't even have pictures of our time together. Ha! I have pictures from Saturday when I spent time with family and my extended family's Easter Egg Hunt in Springville. There were some pretty sweet moments I captured.
Cami Roo
Like Cami Roo's happy face during breakfast. I took this picture to send to Dave because I knew he was missing her like crazy. They have such a special relationship and all of those whiny moments over the weekend was because she missed Daddy.
At the Easter Egg hunt Cameron was so fascinated by the plastic eggs. My aunt collected them in a laundry basket after the hunt so she can use them for the hunt next year. Cameron sat in front of that giant egg collection, taking the eggs out one at a time. It was so cute; too bad I left my phone in the car.


This moment was on the drive home after the Easter Egg Hunt. Despite being two years older, Cameron's cousin Lydia, loves her so much. They held hands for a lot of the drive home. It was so cute and uncharacteristic of Cameron to let someone touch her for so long.


This moment was a highlight for sure. I'm sure this picture seems so depressing to everyone else. It's been such a snowy, cold winter that we haven't had a chance to see my dad's headstone since it was put up(sometime in the last three months). Even though the grave-site was empty and I didn't feel him near or whatever, it was good to see a physical representation of him. I miss him every day. Especially lately as my life seems to hit another extremely challenging hill. I'll sit in the driver's seat of my car, sobbing behind my sunglasses and I imagine him answering his cell phone like old times. I try to imagine what he would say to me: probably some mixture of self-learned examples, stories from the scriptures and offer me a virtual hug. While he was here, everything was always going to be okay. He didn't say it just to make me feel better; his positive confidences held me steady. Bah, I miss him so much. I still need my daddy, I wish he could answer me.


Interview #2

Hi, my name is Michelle and I really suck at interviews. Let me tell you why.
I'm fairly confident in my ability to do any job. I'm not being cocky or tooting my own horn. With a little guidance, I'm capable of doing any job. Seriously, I can do anything.
I think that interviews are comparable to tests in elementary school and they don't indicate anything except how a person responds under pressure.
You know what I do? I freak out, freeze and stutter out responses. At the end of the interview, I calmly walk out to my car and cry my guts out. It's so frustrating to interview like this so many times. I just want to scream at them, "Just hire me. I'm going to be awesome, just disregard anything I say in this interview because I'm crazy nervous and there's too much pressure."
There's one question I am asked consistently, "I see that this job is very different from your current job. What made you apply to this job?" 
"Because I want a completely different career." (If there was a future for me in television, I wouldn't have applied to this job.)
So world, I'm probably not going to get this job. It would have changed my life for the better. I could have a "real" relationship or even "date nights". I'm not exaggerating when I say that I can't remember the last time Dave and I had time together with each other. It's ridiculous and super lonely. With this job, our finances would have been fine, regardless of the drop in hours. 3/4 weekends off and the future looked bright.
With my sucky interview skills, it's looking pretty bleak. It's hard not to blame myself for our shortcomings. It's also hard to look ahead with hope for something better. It looks so far away and impossible.
I believe in dreams, but things aren't changing. It's going to be another very hard year for me.


S is for Snake

Cami can be so silly sometimes.Her expressions are so amusing. 
Yesterday we took her to the aquarium for the first time (with family).
She was mesmerized by the giant fish for a while, but playtime between aquarium and lunch time is classic.  The pictures almost tell a story.

This is so fun. I love the snakes!
Stop! I'm laughing too hard!
And....I'm over it.


Time changes everything

Out of the 204 books I've read in my adult life, there are only three books that have been strong enough to inspire change in my life. I just finished the third, Stephen King's epic novel, "11/22/63" 
It's a novel that should not be ignored and I believe that everyone should read it. On my preferred book web site, I posted a review that I wanted to share:

11/22/63 is a beautiful work and I dare say it's Stephen King's finest that I have read. I'm not ready to be finished with this book.To write a review about this would be unholy and none of my words about this book can do Stephen King justice.
11/22/63 is an epic story about time travel, changing the future and truth.
Stephen King really knocked this one out of the park. The whole book pulled together so well. It can't be duplicated the way the themes and plot points return and harmonize with all of the parts.
His characters in this book are forever. Jake Epping/George Amberson is more than a character I remember while reading a fantastic plot. After spending the past two months-he's more like my best friend, sharing his secrets with me. I'm going to miss Sadie Dunhill and Al Templeton in ways that I miss my dearest family members.
I wish I knew Stephen personally so I could hug him and really thank him for sharing this story with me. It felt so personal and close to my heart. It changed me. Everyone should read 11/22/63.
"The butterfly spreads its wings"