12.02.2014

Jesus Wants Me

11/19
Amy came over last night, hugging a white 3-ring binder to her chest.
Here comes my first church calling in four years. 
My last calling was as a "indexing committee member" before Cami was born, in my single's ward. Then there was a time of working weekends. When I changed jobs, somehow I snuck underneath the calling radar (thanks to a giant ward of more than 700 people). and my passivity--then they split the ward.
Bishop called me in as a primary teacher and that was the white binder Amy was carrying so tightly. That binder held the specifics of my class.
Sunbeam-Primary 1
4-5 year olds. Someone has a sens of humor. My first calling in four years  is teaching kids brand new to Primary and Sharing Time. Kids don't generally like me. Giddy-up.

12/2
I had my first lesson experience on Sunday. 
I literally spend three days and multiple hours planning and making things for them, including some pretty sweet-looking beards.
None of the kids like singing and only one of them wore a beard. My lesson took exactly 10 minutes and after coloring for 15 minutes and a matching game my partner had.  I felt like I spent three hours with a room of Cami's. Dave's church clothes were dirty, so it was me and Cam by ourselves for the last hour.  She has been in this really rebellious toddler stage lately. We went to time-out twice in the middle of church. There's a reason we sit in the back.  It was awful. I cried a lot after church. 
It's so overwhelming, on top of every day stress of work, taking care of Cami and new baby coming. I work really hard for this calling already and it seems to be so ridiculous, like teaching cows how to fly.

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