2011 Recap

I have never done a Christmas newsletter or a 2011 recap. This year was one for the books. This blog entry is the most personal I've ever done on "True Story", but there's no other way to say these things. They must include the emotion and life that came with these words.
1. The biggest part of the year started in February when I found out about Cameron; the current super wiggly baby.  Nine months she grew and provided me with the most challenging experience of my life. Her presence both inside and outside of me forced a huge perspective change. It changed my whole life. I miss so much of pre-baby, but as a piece of me she is like a tangible expression of love.
2.Dave: I dated Dave seriously at the beginning of this year. Lots of people and my own craziness kept saying that it wouldn't work out. Some people, who won't be named, even instilled some hurt with doubt about how long we would last. It's been almost seven months and there's no sign of stopping.  I am glad I listened to that voice in the back of my head. He's the best friend I've ever had. I mean, better than all my best friends put together. When Cameron became real in our minds, he seemed to be the only one outside of my family who was there for everything. Things get hard and I feel like we grow stronger.
3. Moving: It definitely was the year of moving. I moved out of my apartment with Melanie, into my parents, into Dave's and this year started with us moving back in with my parents--in hopes of finding a house sooner than later---and not wanting to sign an apartment contract.
4. Marriage: Dave and I were bound to marry sooner or later. He is the best man I've ever known. We wanted to give her a stable place to grow up and we opted for a faster wedding than either of us really wanted. It wasn't perfect by any means. Money was tighter because of our looming future. I still feel a little bummed that I didn't get the dress I wanted--due to the extra growth.
5. Friends: I feel like 2011 was not a time for friends. In fact, I feel as though I lost them all. With Dave and a baby; friend time faded. When there was time again, it seems too little and too late. I miss them a lot. I hate not being a part of their lives and involved.  I have a fantastic family but I miss the girl times and spending time with people who care about me by choice--apparantly not anymore.
6. House: We've been looking for a house for a long time; found the perfect house and we acted on faith--moving into my parents. Faith and works and yet it didn't happen. Perhaps it isn't the right timing but I feel so hopeless and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.
7. Blood Clot: The pain in my leg/back has never been so high. The swelling and everything. The nightmar that it came with will remain with me for the next two years...thanks insurance for not covering pretty much anything...and bedrest in a hospital for four days was definitely not worth anything.
8. Cancer: I wouldn't include this unless it was a huge part of this year. My dad was diagnosed with esophogial cancer with an expiration date. A couple of emergency room visits later and he's doing better, the cancer steadily shrinking but the ugly word still in everyone's mind.
9. Family: I gained another family thanks to the marriage shinanigans. Some of them greeted and included me easier/better than others and I love them all--especially my two new sets of parents. (Bruce, Jean, Patty and Chuck)--they went out of their way to welcome me in--even under circumstances that weren't ideal.
10. Church: I know there are people who don't value religion and give up on it. This year was a challenge. Living in Utah, pregnant and unmarried....oh and active in the church. Sometimes I felt like a walking contradiction. Luckily, Dave's ward was fantastic. You know this slip up didn't shatter my testimony. In a way, I felt strengthened, because I knew that everything was still true. I felt/feel an insane desire to go back to the temple--if anything for Cameron's future.  This year I start out going back to my parent's ward and I can't help but feel a little fear. I grew up in that ward and I know that some people will remember.
2011 was a huge challenge and 2012 is definitely off to a rough start. Some people will say that my list isn't so bad. This isn't a competition or any way for me to get attention-it's just getting my "true story" of 2011 out there. Years are full of good and full of bad. This year had it all in balance: lots of heavy things and lots of joyful things. My list for 2012 dreams starts tomorrow.