2.23.2010

Height Complex

Walking between classes is usually a dull, mundane activity. (Especially when it's hazy).  My mind is boring and filled with words and numbers from class. It becomes a gold medal competition when there is another tall person walking nearby and my head rises to the competition (literally).
My height complex is silly. It's like a bad twist on Napoleon's "little man syndrome", be loud to make up for his height.  I have height but I don't really want it.  I always try to pawn off my calves or extremities to others in need.  Despite this pawn idea, there is a double standard.  
Growing up, I have always been the tallest girl/woman in my classes and school. As a kid, I hated being spotted a head taller than everyone else. I noticed in high school, on the basketball team that the height issue was not going to change and I accepted it. I even embraced it, putting the height to good use in sports and such
I have learned to be comfortable as the tallest girl, but my balance is completely ruined when some girl walks by who is taller than me. I walk faster and raise every bone in my body to be taller than her and if she is still taller, I shrink and try to walk faster.
With men, I think it's typical for every girl. I don't think they stand taller, but for me it's what makes me stand out the most. I try to get his attention by being closer to eye level than other women. It's not necessarily a successful method, but it's my method.
I don't think other people realize how complex the tall woman mind is about other tall people. Maybe I stand alone in this idea.

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