Sell me your car, Logan

I've been in the market for a new car for a couple of weeks now.  I hate looking for cars and I am so over this frustration and irritation. With each salesman, I want to grab each of them and throw them into oncoming traffic. Do you think they could still try and sell me a car older than mine and with more mileage with their heads caved in?
Today pretty much topped my least favorite days on my quest for a car that is worth it. I have a friend who has some serious connections in Logan.  We went up there today and I brought a little hope with me.
The test driving experience was less than golden. The first car I test drove was a Scion XD. It's not my dream car nor is it anything that I could ever "love" or learn to love. It was a good drive though and I enjoyed myself until we hit the train tracks.  I paused the car at the first stop sign before the train tracks and as I was moving forward the car stopped half way on the train tracks
My friend, Takara, looks over at me, "Go, Michelle..."  I press my foot all the way to floor on the gas and it doesn't move.  The salesman suggests turning the car off and then back on- the car still doesn't start. We ran out of gas on my first test drive in the middle of a train track.
After a half hour wait and realizing this car is not agreeing with me, we are back at the dealership.  The next test drive is for a newer Camry.  After getting into the car, the engine doesn't turn over and lights are out--the battery is dead.
My frustration and exhaustion grows. My life is epic and maybe I'm not meant to be happily driving a new car..Maybe my car, "Henry-Peter", is my curse. Too bad I don't remember what I did so badly in my last life to deserve this.