4.30.2010

Ends

So many things in my life ended in the last two days.  Today was the end of my college education.  The final paper was easier than expected and my teacher gave a lot of free point, acts of mercy to the 3/4 of seniors in the class.  I put the paper on his desk and as my fingers left the white pages, I felt a little bit fuller than normal, like when you're starving and eat a roll. The roll is not fulfilling, but it crams your stomach with more material than possible.  One more button click left until my bachelor degree, one paper submission away from ending this era of my life.
Yesterday I finished my internship at the station.  I walked out of those doors and I felt really depressed. I absolutely loved working for Clear Channel.  Working there was a good fit for me. It’s been the best experience of my entire college life.  I know what I want to do with better assurance because of my experience there. Now, the hard part is to compete with the rest of the graduated world for a job in the field I want and where I fit best.  I knocked the college experience out and now I face a much larger opponent, the economy.  I hope my right hook is strong enough to take him out.
These ends create beginnings but I'm so scared. The world is a big place.  I am one person, embarking on a future that seems to be failing. I'm going to face the world and I don't know what to do with it.  I am envious of people who have already conquered this heavy section with a job in place from their internship, a family or something that is continuing to propel them forward. What will propel me now that school is over? I think imagination could do a fine job of that.

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